In a relationship, what types of questions should you be asking each other? and why


If you’ve been in a romantic relationship for a while, you may feel like you’ve lost the passion you once had for your partner. Maybe you’ve just grown tired of them, or perhaps you and your partner are in a different stage of your relationship, and you’re both feeling uneasy about it.

If this is the case, it is an opportunity to think about the questions to ask in a relationship. Even if you’re happy in your relationship, reflecting on it and asking questions about relationships can help it grow stronger. There are many ways to reflect, but one of the easiest and quickest is to ask questions. Such healthy relationship questions can help you and your partner strengthen your bond. Alternatively, these questions to ask your partner can aid in identifying and resolving the issue. Some of these relationship questions to ask can even help you calm down if you’re worried that your relationship is deteriorating.

By asking good relationship questions, you and your partner can determine the problems in your relationship and come up with solutions to address them. Communicating in a relationship is a virtue that some couples don’t have. Don’t be like that. Talk and share your feelings with your lover about a specific topic.

But what should you talk about when the time comes?

In case you aren’t sure, here are a few topics to spark the conversation.


Perhaps you and your partner have done it a million times before. That doesn’t mean you know what your partner wants and enjoys in bed, and finding out is probably a good idea.  Sexual compatibility (i.e., how well you think you and your partner work out sexually) can make or break a relationship. Maybe you’ve been afraid to tell her you’re intimidated by how often she wants sex because she has a secret fetish she hasn’t shared with you. Whatever your preferences, keep the conversation as open and nonjudgmental as possible.


Even if you’ve never spoken about money directly, you probably know how much your partner earns and how they spend a paycheck. Even so, if you and your partner are considering (or already are) sharing a bank account or co-owning a home, it’s critical to have a financial discussion.


Infidelity can mean a lot in a variety of ways. Are you doing the ‘thing’ in your partner’s bed with someone else? That’s cheating a thousand times over, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.

However, don’t take your partner’s feelings about infidelity at face value. It’s worthwhile to sit down and discuss what defines cheating in your relationship. There are many different types of relationships, each with its own set of boundaries, so figure out yours before one of you gets emotionally broken.


If you don’t see any flaws with each other, why then would you discuss sensitive issues?

Because understanding your partner’s communication patterns, particularly when they want to talk about something bothersome, can help you avoid significant misunderstandings down the road. It is also beneficial to know when to address this situation, whether a day after a heated argument or a few hours after they did something you didn’t like. Knowing this can help you approach the situation correctly.


Perhaps the thought of a wedding is the last thing on your mind right now. Maybe you have no intention of ever marrying. Think about how bad it would be if you moved in together and then found out that one of you thought cohabitation was the first step to getting married.

The same can be said for your plans to start a family. If you’re not interested in having children, but your partner insists on at least two, you might want to reconsider your relationship’s future. It doesn’t mean you can’t get it right; you should know where each of you stands first.

Questions to ask when in a relationship

As someone who may genuinely care about their lover, you should also be asking problematic relationship questions. Even though these are complex topics to get into, they are crucial in your relationship because they require both parties to commit. Here are 50 relationship questions that can help you shape your relationship in the future.

  1. What was your first crush like, and who was it?
  1. Could you tell me about your first heartbreak?
  1. What was the most important lesson you learned from your worst breakup?
  1. What is something about relationships that you used to believe, but no longer do?
  1. What was the strangest thing you were afraid of as a kid?
  1. When you were younger, what was your favorite food?
  1. What is your current favorite meal?
  1. What was your first album purchase?
  1. How does your life compare to what you envisioned as a child?
  1. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  1. Was it true that you were “popular” in high school?
  1. What was your favorite subject in school as a kid?
  1. Was there a time in your adolescence when you made a fashion faux pas?
  1. What does “romance” mean to you?
  1. Do you intend to start a family? If so, how many are there?
  1. Do you believe in the existence of God?
  1. Is it essential for you to attend church or another place of worship?
  1. Do you think that being smart or being kind is more important?
  1. Would you prefer to be admired, respected, or loved?
  1. Do you have any traditions in your family?
  1. What does it take to turn you on that isn’t sexual?
  1. Have you ever told me about a sexual fantasy you’ve had?
  1. Which location would you choose if we could have sex anywhere?
  1. Would you prefer to spend the rest of your life having only morning sex or only night sex?
  1. When was the first time you had an orgasm?
  1. Have you ever pretended to have an orgasm—not with me, but in general?
  1. What do you consider to be great sex?
  1. Have you ever considered me while masturbating?
  1. Is the prospect of being caught in the act of sex appealing to you?
  1. Is it thrilling to think that someone is watching us have sex?
  1. When was the first time you wanted to kiss me?
  1. Is there a particular outfit or set of clothes you’d like to see me wear?
  1. Do you enjoy using sex toys, or would you like to try them out as a couple?
  1. Which sex position is your favorite?
  1. What do you wish we did together more frequently?
  1. What areas of your body would you like to be touched more regularly?
  1. Is knowing everything about your partner’s previous relationships necessary?
  1. Do you think you’ll be with this person forever, if not forever?
  1. How do you feel when they leave you for some time due to work or school?
  1. Will you apologize to your partner even though it wasn’t your fault?
  1. When was the last time you and your partner had a serious discussion?
  1. Do you have any secrets you don’t want your partner to know about?
  1. Do you believe your partner’s family and friends like you?
  1. Do you think your partner accepts you for who you are?
  1. Have you seen each other’s best and worst sides?
  1. Have you ever considered betraying your partner? Why?
  1. Have you ever considered divorcing your partner, and if so, why?
  1. Will you lie for your partner’s happiness, and where do you draw the line?
  1. Have you ever thought about marriage?
  1. If so, how many kids do you want?

Good relationships build on commitment, mutual respect, and dedication, whether you’ve been dating your partner for a few months or married for three years. While you may have felt an instant and frictionless passion when you first met, maintaining that passion as your relationship progresses may be an effort, but don’t worry, it may be the most enjoyable and rewarding work you’ll ever do.

Of course, every relationship is different, but even then, you can always work to improve it. Without further ado, here are a few ways to improve your relationship.

Pay attention to the little details

An excellent way to make your conversation more meaningful is to listen attentively to what your partner is saying and then bring up those minor details later. If your significant other mentions liking a certain clothing brand, you could try surprising them with some branded merchandise.

The idea that you paid attention and remembered even tiny details that your partner says demonstrates how much you listen, care, and love your partner. In the end, it’s the small things that count.

Talk about something new

Communication is probably the most critical factor in determining the success of any relationship. It’s nice to inquire about your partner’s day, but it can become tiresome if you ask the same question every day or don’t branch out into new conversation topics.

Make the extra effort to ask your significant other about something specific to improve your relationship and communication. This way, you will avoid unintentionally doing something they don’t like and have deeper discussions.

Have monthly dates

Given your hectic schedules and never-ending responsibilities, the most surefire way to ensure that you make time for one another is to set aside a night each month to strengthen your bond and reignite that spark.

Schedule a date—only one night out of the month, but the connection that emerges from it will have long-term effects, whether you’re looking to jazz up your relationship or want something together that isn’t always Netflix.

Say the magic words

We can get so comfortable in relationships that we assume our partners meet all of our requirements, whether it’s how they treat us or the routine tasks they do. Talking is especially true in long-term relationships that fall into routines. Just saying “thank you” for doing the dishes after dinner or saying “sorry” after an argument reinforces their good nature, makes them feel appreciated, and reminds you why you love them.

It’s also crucial to express gratitude for their presence in your life and how much they mean to you, rather than just what they do for you.


It’s understandable that attempting to deal with partner issues falls to the bottom of your priority list, given the daily struggle of responsibilities and tiredness. It’s exhausting to keep up with life’s responsibilities—work, kids, family, friends, neighbors, and your home—and many of us are exhausted. During hard times, it’s easier to avoid dealing with problems in your relationship that have caused it to stall.

On the other hand, taking the long, difficult road of confronting these issues is far more beneficial than avoiding them. Talking about these issues allows you and your partner to grow and connect even more deeply.

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